Gwozdecky Named 'Lord of the Springs'
by Damien Goddard/Columnist
Author's Note: With the always-caustic DU-CC series this weekend, it's fun to go back to a simplier time in a fictional place when Hobbits & Trolls roamed southern Colorado
The Pursuit of the Hobey is the first of three volumes in The Lord of the Springs, an epic set in the fictional world of Colorado College. In the Lord of the Springs is an entity named Coach Scotty Owens, the Dark Lord, who long ago lost what Donnie Lucia had taught him. His overriding desire is to reclaim the National Championship Trophy and use it to enslave all of Denver.
The story of The Lord of the Springs begins with several events that take place at NORAD Missle Defense Compound buried deep within the Rocky Mountains. While wandering lost in a deep cave, Brett Sterling, a Hobbit — one of a small, testy race about half the size of Men — stumbles upon a Hobey Baker Trophy and takes it back with him to The Garden of the Gods, the part of Colorado Springs that is near the Hobbits' home. All Sterling knows of his trophy is that holding it causes him to become invisible next to Marty Sertich. He is unaware that it is "The" Hobey Trophy, and is oblivious to its significance and to the fact that Owens has also been searching all his life for a National Championship Trophy.
The Pursuit of the Trophy opens with a party for Sterlings' 21st birthday at the Golden Bee (the Fox 9 Undercover News Team was not invited). Sterling wants to give The Hobey Trophy to the rightful owner, fellow Hobbit Marty Sertich. When the time comes to part with the trophy, however, Sterling becomes strangely reluctant to do so. He gives up the trophy only at the determined urging of his friend, Matt Zaba, the Great Sieve. Zaba suspects that the trophy is indeed the missing Hobey. After confirming his suspicions, he tells Owens that the Trophy must be taken away from Sterling, as Matt Carle's power is growing once again.
Long and the short of it is, DU sweeps CC for the 100th time, Owens becomes a spokesman for Avis, Matt Carle wins the 2006 Hobey Baker Award, Sterling and Sertich become uber-successful jockeys, and DU sweeps CC yet again.
All's well that ends well.
Editor's Note: We assure you Damian is taking his meds, CC fans. Please do not hurt him.