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January 11, 2007 E-MAIL PRINT Bookmark and Share

PENALTY BOX

Minnesota Wins Without Seven Players

by Damien Goddard/Columnist

The big news last weekend is, we now know that Minnesota can beat Minnesota State short seven players. It's only a matter of time before Hollywood jumps on the Gopher bandwagon and produces a movie. Here's eight suggestions for the studios:

The Mighty Gophers — A bunch of plunky kids are recruited by Don Lucia during recess at Shattuck St. Marys and lead UM to victory over Mankato the next day.

Goldy — The heartwarming story of a down and out mascot from Philadelphia who never gave up and is given the once in a lifetime opportunity perform between periods against Mankato. Uplifting scene when Goldy runs up the steps of Mariucci Arena during training.

Searching For Tyler Hirsch — Kind of like the Bobby Fisher movie. Come to think of it...exactly like the Bobby Fisher movie.

The Pride of the Gophers — A bunch of Gopher players go off to Sweden, and when they return, they never get back in the lineup because the "Wally Pipp Line" which replaced them can play defense.

The Bad News Gophers Go To Sweden — They might not win the gold, but the hijinx continue as the loveable losers take on the Finns, the Canadians and the Swedes.

On Goldy's Pond — Bittersweet story of a hockey player who mends his relationship with his father and then goes on to play in the NCAA tournament against Holy Cross.

White Men Can't Skate — Wesley Snipes & Woody Harrelson star in this lighthearted buddy movie about pickup hockey at the University of Minnesota.

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